California State University, Sacramento

As we deal with the reality of our country going to war, school psychologists should anticipate being asked for guidance on how to help children cope with this conflict. It is with this thought in mind that this article has been written. It will be important for you to be prepared to a) identify those children who are most likely to have difficulty coping with war, b) recognize possible coping challenges that adults may need to help children address, and c) suggest strategies to helping children cope.

It is important to acknowledge that not all children will be equally affected by the events taking place in the Middle East. Some will be relatively unaffected, while others will find these events most distressing. Given this fact, it is important for you to have a basic understanding of the factors that make crisis events either more or less challenging for children. The most important of these is physical and emotional proximity to the war.

Children who are physically close to crisis events are obviously more likely to find them frightening, and, as a result, to experience coping challenges. To the extent our school children remain physically removed from war related events, we can anticipate that they will be relatively unaffected. However, emotional proximity does not require physical closeness. Children who have a relative or other loved one involved in the war are much more likely to be affected by it. In addition, children who (while physically distant from war related events) perceive the war as personally threatening may also have coping challenges. Examples of this type of emotional proximity include seeing adults behave as if the event is personally threatening and/or the constant viewing of the war on television (which can be viewed as bringing the war right into their homes).

Other factors that school psychologists should keep in mind include a pre-existing history of mental illness (especially anxiety disorders such as PTSD), the existence of a personal history that includes relatively recent exposure to other traumatic events, and the lack of family and social resources. Conversely, children who are mentally healthy, do not have a significant trauma history, and are well connected to a variety of familial and social resources are less likely to experience significant war related coping challenges.

The coping challenges faced by individual children, as a result of war, will be very idiosyncratic. There will likely be as many specific coping challenges as there are children having difficulty coping. Given this fact, an important task for the school psychologist is to identify, as exactly as possible, what specific problems children feel they are unable to solve. Following are some possible concerns; however, this list is far from exhaustive and is only designed to stimulate your thinking in this regard.

• Worry about loved ones. As the result of being worried about the safety of loved ones, some children may require assistance coping with significant levels of anxiety.
• Worry about themselves. From their own perceptions of the war, some children may be worried about their own safety. These children may also require assistance coping with their own anxiety levels.
• Uncertainty. One of the most distressing problems a child might find hard to solve is the uncertainty associated with what will happen next. Fear of the unknown can be a significant coping challenge.
• Distressing images. In these days of 24/7 news coverage it will not be surprising to find some children having difficulty coping with the distressing images they may view on television.
• Anxiety of adults. The anxiety of adults can not only increase a child’s own threat perceptions, but can also -- in and of itself -- represent a coping challenge. Some children may require assistance understanding and coping if a caregiver is visibly upset by war related events. In addition, children who are not provided with appropriate coping models will find solving war related problems more difficult.
• Conflicting messages and points of view. Children may be confronted with images of individuals engaging in vigorous debate regarding the war in Iraq. The volatility associated with such discussions may frighten some children and thereby create coping challenges. In addition, some children may be involved in such debate and will need to be prepared for how to appropriately participate in such discussion.
• Confusion. Related to the just mentioned coping challenge, some children may find it difficult to cope with the confusion generated by issues of right and wrong regarding the war in Iraq.
• Victimization. Unfortunately, some children by virtue of the way they dress and/or the color of their skin may find themselves the victims of hateful comments and remarks generated by the anxieties of others. Obviously, these children will require the support of nurturing adults to cope with such victimization.

An exhaustive list of suggestions for helping children cope with the reality of war is not possible given the idiosyncratic nature of coping challenges. However, there are a variety of specific issues and strategies that school psychologists should be aware of when helping the distressed child. These include the following:

• One size does not fit all. Recognize that the strategies that will help one child cope may not work for another. To the extent that it is possible to do so, tailor coping assistance to the specific challenges of the specific child.
• Developmental sensitivity. Helping children cope with the problems associated with having their country at war will require developmental sensitivity. For example, while talking out problems may be very effective with adolescents, it may not work with younger children who do not have the words to express their concerns. With younger children art activities may help them to identify their coping challenges and to being the problem solving process. In addition, it is important to keep in mind that caregivers will need to be much more concrete with younger children than with adolescents. For example, explaining where Iraq is will require a map and references to familiar locations (such as the fact that Iraq is as large as California).
• Cultural sensitivity. School psychologists need to be sensitive to the fact that coping strategies appropriate for one culture may be inappropriate, ineffective, or unavailable for another culture. For example, the resources that may be very powerful in helping children from one culture cope may not be available to children from another culture.
• Listen. Truly listen to children as they share their war related anxieties. Help the child understand, as exactly as possible, what challenges they are facing. Then, building from the individual child’s specific coping challenges, begin the problem solving process.
• Provide factual information. To the extent that children’s coping challenges are the result of misinformation, provide factual information. However, it will be important to avoid giving out misinformation no matter how reassuring you intend it to be.
• Respect. Do not down play or attempt to minimize the coping challenges that children experience. This can be facilitated by pausing to listen and not dominating conversations.
• Warmth. To the extent it is developmentally and culturally appropriate to do so; physical warmth (e.g., a supportive arm around a child’s shoulder) can be very helpful in giving children the emotional strength needed to cope. It lets children know, in very concrete terms, that they are not alone.
• Build connections. To the extent it is possible to do so, bring together groups of children who have similar coping challenges (e.g., who have loved ones involved in the war). There is strength in numbers quite literally and coping challenges do not seem quite as overwhelming when children realize they are not alone.
• Help guide discussion. Older children will likely want to discuss issues related to the war (e.g., patriotism, killing, free speech, national security, etc.) In some cases, emotions can run high. It is important to conduct such discussion in a controlled learning environment where an adult can help clarify fact and minimize sweeping stereotyping or confrontational statements. Adults should be aware of any particular issues among children in a class or group discussion. School psychologists can advise teachers or help run discussions, possibly in smaller groups.
• Taking action. Find something concrete that the child can do to cope. Taking action is an important way to move a child from the position of vulnerable victim to active problem solver. For example, help children to identify specific things they can do to address their own anxiety and/or help others cope.
• Recognize the importance of your own behavior. Especially among younger children, threat perceptions are shaped by adult reactions. Make sure that adults appear calm and in control in the presence of children.
• Maintain physical and emotional distance. To the extent it is possible to do so, maintain the child’s sense of physical and emotional distance from the war. Perhaps most importantly, this will require you to minimize the child’s viewing of distressing war related images on television. Maintaining reassuring routines (both at home and at school), while at the same time acknowledging the need for flexibility (e.g., teachers may not want to introduce new lessons), can be a powerful way of maintaining such distance. Doing so demonstrates, in a very concrete way, that the war has not affected everything in the child’s life.
• Identify and support sources of resiliency. To the extent that the child has a supportive, effective, and caring home and teachers, he or she will be less vulnerable to the effects of war related events. Empower such resources with the information provided in this article. Let them know just how important they are in helping children overcome coping challenges.
• Care for yourself. Last, but certainly not least, recognize that the war in Iraq will have an effect on you as well as the children you serve. Develop your own self-care plan. In other words, practice what you preach. Failure to do so may result in you being a less effective aid to the child experiencing coping challenges.

Additional resources that may prove helpful in assisting children cope with war related events may be found on the following web pages.

Helping Children Cope with War and Terrorism, NASP

FEMA for Kids

Talking With Kids About War & Violence: Learn how to answer children's challenging questions by seeing the world through their eyes

http://www.pbs.org/parents/issuesadvice/war/